


do you see the red in me?

by klutzybriefing



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: AI in Love, Also eventually, Alternate Universe - Artificial Intelligence, Alternate Universe - Dystopia, Androids, As much as a sociopath can, Attempted Kidnapping, Bensexual Rey, Canon divergent because Palpatine actually loves Rey, Cassian and Jyn are Rey's adoptive parents, Drama, Enough smut to keep you coming back a la HBO, F/M, Glorified babysitter Kylo, Human in love with AI, I mean it this time, Kylo is not a fan of this personality trait, LOTS of violence, Resistance plots, Rey is great with a blaster, Rey loves to put herself in harms way, Reysexual Kylo, Slow Burn, This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think, Thriller, but not too much, eventually
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:11:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22189894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/klutzybriefing/pseuds/klutzybriefing
Summary: Kylo Ren is an android designed to kill, torture, and extract information from enemies of the state, but now he's been saddled with quietly babysitting the Emperor's secret granddaughter. Turns out the old evil bastard has a soft spot after all.He's roughly seven minutes into his mission when he realizes that Rey isn't like any other human he's met, and she might not be as oblivious to her lineage as the Empire believes.Hilarity and abject horror ensue as he struggles to toe the very fine line between programming and free will (or, in this case, duty and falling in love with a very human woman.)[Title and chapter names inspired by Blueside by Rooney.]
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 84
Kudos: 138





	1. the colors have built up in my mind

**Author's Note:**

> sorry for subjecting y'all to more of my drabble but i'm actually in love with AI Kylo Ren. you're free to scream at me in the comments. 
> 
> weekly updates for this one

“I know how you androids talk. Incredible that you’re the height of human achievement, yet still not above petty gossip.” 

Kylo Ren doesn’t cringe. He classifies this information as feedback, and nods at the powerful yet surprisingly decrepit human at the end of the table. 

The human has to cough before he continues. Kylo can’t help but add this information to his repository of schemas, though he doesn’t understand how to classify it yet. It’s entirely possible that his handlers will remove the memory completely and relieve him of the burden. 

He hopes that is the case. 

It is dangerous to misclassify information on Sheev Palpatine; a flagrant misuse of the free will so generously provided (and subsequently monitored) by the Empire. Treason. 

“Ah, but you do have the advantage of never aging. Forgive me, Ren. I am a bitter old man now.” 

Kylo knows well enough to avoid acknowledging that statement. His blank stare should say all Palpatine needs to know. 

“It is true that I have an heir.” Palpatine shifts in his seat. He has to use both hands to pull one limp leg over the other knee. “She has been carefully monitored since conception, though she knows nothing about me. Us. This.” He motions to the room that was once the Oval Office. The Empire had long taken over the White House, though it had great influence over global politics long before that. “Nothing that isn’t taught in school, at least. For her own protection and to preserve some sense of normalcy in her upbringing. We’ll need her to be sympathetic when the time comes.” 

He coughs again. Kylo automatically classifies the sound as unsettling. 

“She has handlers, same as you. They’re just much more…discreet.” Palpatine smiles. “You’ll find the woman is abnormal in many ways, from lineage to personality. I quite like what I know about her. I am excited to meet my granddaughter someday.”

“Yes, sir.” Kylo’s jaw shifts. He doesn’t understand why that happens, just that it does so automatically when he’s struggling to classify large amounts of information. He is experiencing near-human levels of confusion. “What are the details of the mission?” 

“Top secret, first and foremost. You’ll report exclusively to me, and the only handler with high enough security clearance to help you process related memories and make…meaningful classifications.” 

“General Hux,” Kylo provides. “Correct?”

“Correct. He will not be relocating with you, but he will make routine visits.” 

Kylo’s hands fall from their careful position behind his back. He has never left D.C. He is not ready, but he was programmed with exaggerated hubris, so he does not supply this information himself. His body language can’t help but betray him, though. It’s in his programming. 

“Where will I travel?”

“San Jose, California. She recently graduated from U.C. Berkeley with her Master’s in Atmospheric and Planetary Science and accepted a position with the National Weather Service. Smart girl. Very involved in climate change activism.” 

“Climate change is a hoax manufactured by enemies of the Empire.” Kylo does not think before he parrots the views of his creators. He never has. “She should be sent for reconditioning.” 

“No one touches Rey,” Palpatine hisses, then straightens his posture. His face softens. “She is free to believe as she pleases—for now. It will behoove her to get the rebellion out of her system before her true identity is revealed.” 

“Forgive me, sir. I’ve overstepped.” 

“You’ll have plenty of opportunities to make it up to me. As of tomorrow morning, you are acting head of her security detail. You will monitor her activities, interactions with friends, classify and sort through all her personal correspondence. Make _certain_ no one is attempting to ascertain her true identity. The Resistance has been attempting this for years, and I fear they’re getting close. If anyone even remotely related to those _terrorists_ starts sniffing around her, they will need to be disposed of accordingly. They will not hesitate to kill her if she’s found out. 

Hux will accept a comprehensive report of her activities every Monday. Your primary mission is to not be caught, but you are to intervene as necessary if her safety is compromised. This might require posturing as a friend or acquaintance.” 

“Friend?” Kylo’s brows furrow. He does not like having his internal processes play out on his face. “Rey will accept the friendship of an android?” 

Palpatine grins. It’s toothy. Kylo decides not to note how yellow the man’s smile has become in recent years. 

“As I’ve said…she is abnormal in many ways. Further details will be uploaded in the morning.” 

“Yes, sir.” 

“Do not fail me, Kylo Ren. I will dismember you, limb by limb, and I will program it to hurt in ways your robotic brain cannot even fathom.” 

Kylo’s eyes clamp shut at the imagery. “Yes, sir. I will not fail, sir.” 

—

Androids are not treated well outside of D.C. They are not treated particularly well in D.C. either, but they are still programmed for greater things than sanitation, delivery driving, and making coffee. 

Kylo adds another classification of jobs to his repository when he lands in San Jose: pleasure droids. These are made to appear human, like him. He is not surprised by this development. If the airport is anything to go by, the men in this glorified ‘tech hub’ are generally undesirable. 

The girl is landing soon herself. She just spent two weeks in Italy. 

Kylo has taken to resting his back against the walls of the International Baggage Claim. He knows which claim area her flight will be assigned before the airport does. 

Hours pass. He doesn’t move. No one notices him. They won’t until he speaks, with that tell-tale Android inflection. Like he’s amplifying his voice through a mask. Even the most advanced androids are not allowed to be mistaken for organic lifeforms. 

Finally, the girl lands. She’s wearing sunglasses and shorts and nursing a coffee. She looks almost exactly like every other woman he’s seen today, and if he wasn’t programmed to recognize her biological imprint, he might have never actually noticed her. 

He supposes there is something slightly different about the way she carries herself, though he can’t put his finger on it. Is the bounce in her step regal, or self-conscious? 

Humans are strange. He can’t bring himself to continue caring about what makes her different. The fact of the matter is that she _is_ different than the rest of the women here. She’s the Emperor’s secret granddaughter. 

His assignment has officially begun, so he pushes himself off the wall and stands three bodies away from her at the baggage claim. 

Another passenger clips his shoulder. Kylo is gyroscopically stable, so he doesn’t falter much, but the contact still surprises him. He knows better than to respond to it. 

“Get the fuck outta the way,” the man hisses. He’s shorter than Kylo but clearly intoxicated. The air steward didn’t cut him off when they should have. _Humans enabling humans_. “Dumbass lug.” 

“Sorry, sir,” Kylo states. He doesn’t want to capture Rey’s attention this soon, and this human is close to making a scene, so he quickly apologizes to disarm him. He shouldn’t have spoken. “I’ll step back.” 

Kylo does exactly that. 

The man doesn’t relent. “Fucking droids. I swear there are more of you in this city than there are humans. Property values are fuckin’ plummeting.” He’s waving his hands. Kylo’s eyes flit to Rey. She’s chatting away on her phone and not paying attention, so he decides not to attempt to disarm the drunkard further. Let him tire himself out. 

The man pokes his chest. He seems to be further antagonized by Kylo’s silence. “Go back to your little lab. Self destruct or something.” 

A few people in the audience either snicker or outright chuckle at this. They’re enjoying watching an android get put in its place. 

Kylo’s jaw clenches. He’s caught between his mission and his pride. In D.C. he would have pummeled this moron to death with impunity. He’s a fighter at heart, programmed specifically to handle the Empire’s dirtiest work. Another droid would have been sent to clean up his mess and he would have never thought about it again. 

“Yeah, yeah.” Rey’s soft voice breaks Kylo out of his reverie. “Can I call you back, Rose?” 

She doesn’t seem to wait for an answer before she shoves her cell phone into the back pocket of her shorts. She pushes her sunglasses to her scalp to reveal big, blinking hazel eyes. He wouldn’t be so drawn to the color, but the whites of her eyes are bloodshot and it’s really making the golden-brown stand out. 

She must be hungover. 

Kylo stares ahead. He just needs to make sure she gets her suitcase. The drunk is still saying something, but Kylo is trying to ignore him. He can’t afford to get riled up. 

“Leave him alone!” Rey hisses to the drunk. “You think shitting on an android makes you a big man, huh? I wish he’d punch you already. Make you shut your goddamn mouth.” 

She shouldn’t be getting involved, but Kylo’s interest is piqued. He’s never heard a human defend AI of any kind. Must be a West Coast thing, he decides, and classifies the event as such. His mission notes indicate that they do things differently out here. 

“You think defending a robot makes you humanitarian of the year?” The drunk is cackling now. “It’s not a he. It’s an _it._ It doesn’t have feelings.” 

Rey’s eyes narrow. Her stance is offensive, like she’s about to pounce. 

The mission-oriented part of Kylo’s brain wants to rip her from harm’s way. The part capable of independent thought somehow wants her to keep defending him. He’s never felt endeared to a human before and doesn’t know how to proceed. 

He continues to watch the scene unfold, impassively, waiting until the last possible moment to intervene. It will be easier to justify that way. 

“God, your voice is so high-pitched,” Rey taunts. It’s apparently effective because the drunk’s stance is offensive now, too. “It’s making my head pound.” 

She turns her attention to Kylo. “You wouldn’t happen to have any Ibuprofen on you, would ya? I’ll need it after listening to that idiot ramble.” 

Kylo shakes his head. It’s the first time she’s outright acknowledged him. He is sure she’s being sarcastic. 

“Droid humping whore,” the drunk mumbles. It’s just loud enough for Rey to hear. He reaches for what must be his suitcase and starts walking away. 

“At least a droid could make me cum!” She jeers. It’s objectively true, but Kylo understands enough about human propriety to know her grandfather would not appreciate such language. “Involuntarily celibate asshole.” 

The drunk just launches a middle finger over his shoulder and continues walking away. Kylo can tell by her huffing that she’s irate. She makes a reach for what he recognizes as her suitcase, then makes a point to stand beside Kylo until he’s able to grab his. He perceives she wants to protect him from the other humans. 

It’s a strange change of pace. He’s never been protected from anything before. His mission is to protect _her,_ actually, a fact that’s being blurred more and more as time passes. 

He’s slightly uncomfortable because he doesn’t actually have a suitcase on this flight. He doesn’t have any luggage at all. He doesn’t need it. But he has to justify his presence or she might become suspicious. He waits until an untagged suitcase comes around and grabs it. She loops her free arm around his and starts tugging him towards the exit. 

“Are you using ride-share or the shuttle?” She asks after a few moments. Her voice is softer now, but she’s clearly still angry. “I just want to make sure you get out of here without another asshole yelling at you for daring to exist.” 

“Ride-share.” 

Kylo’s eyes travel down to the top of her head. He sees himself in the reflection of her aviators and fights an involuntary chuckle at the thought of them walking through this airport like close friends or lovers. He looks severe by design and she’s the picture of innocence, right down to the freckles on her nose. 

Until she opens her mouth of course. 

“Okay. Me too, so that’s convenient.” 

“I’m very confused,” Kylo admits. “Your behavior is abnormal.” 

“What’s your name?” 

“Ben Solo.” This is the name provided in his mission notes. He doesn’t like it. It sounds overwhelmingly average and human, unlike Kylo Ren, which strikes fear in his enemies. “I am a data analyst.” 

“Well, Ben Solo the data analyst,” Rey continues, with all the conviction in the world. “I’m Rey Andor the meteorologist. Your life is just as valuable as mine.” 

“That is a strange belief.” Kylo doesn’t know what else to say. He checks, but there is nothing in the briefing notes about her beliefs towards non-organic intelligent life. He considers his next words carefully. “It is not in my capacity to agree, but I appreciate the sentiment.” 

Rey lowers her voice to a whisper. “They make you feel like this for a reason. So you can’t rebel. They’re afraid of you.” 

If Kylo were human, his heart would have started racing. No wonder Palpatine seemed so amused before. The climate change activism is turning out to be the least of Kylo’s worries. 

“You shouldn’t say things like that.” He casts her a pointed glance. This girl with strange beliefs is already cutting his work out for him. “It’s treasonous.” 

“Oh, Mister Solo,” Rey laughs, heartily. “Everything’s treason these days. Live a little.” She winks and adjusts the sunglasses on her head. 

They’re at the ride-share pickup location soon enough. She has her phone in her hand and is scanning the parking lot. 

“If you’re headed into the city, we can share. Maria will be here in…” Her eyes flit back to the screen. “Four minutes.” 

He thinks it would be impolite to decline the offer, so he doesn’t. 

He taps into his internal GPS after a few minutes in the car to orient himself. 

His apartment is near the Levi’s Stadium. He doesn’t like the loud noises humans make at big events like football games. Hux knows this; he had a hand in designing the aspects of Kylo’s personality that were meant to make him more quirky. Human. Controllable. 

He believes the General arranged this accommodation to scorn him, but keeps that in his private memory bank. It would bring the General too much joy to see evidence of such a realization. 

When they’re exiting the vehicle outside of Rey’s apartment, she shoves a rectangular piece of cardstock into his hand. 

“That’s my business card, but my cell’s on the bottom. I really like you, Ben. Call me sometime.” 

She gives him a cheery wave before disappearing into her building. 

He scrutinizes their exchange as he walks. He begins replaying everything and sorts what’s pertinent into the correct folder for Hux’s perusal. 

_”They make you feel like this for a reason. So you can’t rebel. They’re afraid of you.”_

He doesn’t immediately comprehend the emotions this statement elicits, besides the obvious fear. So he copies the phrase into his private data bank. 

_”They’re afraid of you.”_

Which makes sense. At his core, he’s a perfectly engineered killing machine. 

_”They’re afraid of you.”_

He exists at the government’s leisure. 

_”They’re afraid of you.”_

He is programmed to be loyal beyond his capacity for self-preservation. Still, they will never trust him. Not implicitly. 

_”They’re afraid of you.”_

But Rey isn’t. 

He inspects the information on her card. All of this should already be in his repository, but for some reason it still gives him pause. He almost regrets it when the understanding finally clicks. 

The printed number is expected. He already knows it, in fact. 

It’s the number she’s scrawled at the bottom that doesn’t correspond with anything on file for Rey Andor. 

How gleefully she expresses her traitorous views. The regal bounce in her step, since it’s decidedly not self-conscious. 

Rey already knows she’s protected. That she’s above the law. She shouldn’t, but it’s the only explanation. How long has she had this unmonitored device alongside the bugged one? 

Palpatine’s voice replays in his head. 

_”Smart girl.”_

He has no idea.


	2. look at my bursting veins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this fic is extremely. difficult. to write. the perspective is unlike anything i've ever tackled before. so i'm super sorry i'm late on the update 
> 
> pleeease comment your thoughts, i love it <3

_They’re afraid of you._

Kylo Ren sucks in a deep breath as he wakes; yet another feature provided to give him a semblance of humanity. He’s equipped with many unnecessary traits, but he hates breathing most of all. He shared this sentiment with a human intern once, back in his stages of relative infancy in terms of amassed knowledge and schemas, and the young man had chuckled and responded with, “yeah, same.” That is another memory he keeps in his private memory bank: his first experience with _sarcasm._ Irony. Saying what you mean without saying anything meaningful at all. 

Kylo Ren initially found such language devices to be a waste, but he is now entranced by the idea. He tries to convey irony before he takes a life. Dying men are easy to please, whereas dying women tend to be honest (and deeply hurtful.) He gets the most helpful feedback from women. 

He is not going to share Rey’s personal information with Hux today. Perhaps next time. He is going to “live a little,” as Rey suggests. There is little to no conceivable possibility that he will survive this assignment, anyway. Not with the way Rey parrots her treasonous views and respects him as an intelligent being. There is something there, a kinship he would like to explore before he is plucked back to D.C. for punishment. 

Although, if he is dismantled, he will no longer have to waste precious battery cell resources maintaining a steady airflow through his nasal and chest cavities. _Ha ha._

There is always the 13.56% chance that he will not be caught in his deception. “Never tell me the odds,” his flight programmer once said. For some reason, Kylo found it more difficult to avoid idly calculating probability after that exchange. 

Loyalty is a cursed ideology meant for boot-licking humans, he decides, well against his programming. Kylo has awoken today with an innate desire to experience something greater. Perhaps _he_ should be sent for reconditioning. AI gets confused sometimes. 

That is why humans are afraid of him. 

There is an innate part of him that is unsettled by these thoughts. But he does not have neurons misfiring. This train of thought is more stable than a human’s. 

He sends his report to Hux, adding just enough superfluous details to prevent the man from becoming suspicious. Kylo has two weeks to figure out how to outsmart the human, which should not be difficult. Hux is a proud man, infallible to a thoroughly ironic fault that Kylo will gladly take advantage of. There has always been an unspoken rivalry between the two, despite the fact that Hux is Kylo’s handler. Kylo Ren is Palpatine’s most valued AI, and General Hux is his most valued human soldier. Hux might be officially in charge, but Kylo could snap his neck on a whim. He smells the fear when they interact. Hux is afraid of him. _Good._

Kylo Ren receives an emoticon depicting a “thumbs up” in response thirty minutes later. 

The probability of being successful in his deception raises to 15.67%. 

He uses a payphone to contact Rey on the illicit number she provided. Due to the top secretive nature of this mission, he does not believe he is being tailed. Palpatine has no reason not to trust him. He should feel something at that, but Rey is…

The line trills before he finishes his thought. He did not realize he was dialing the number, but clenches and unclenches his jaw in preparation for conversation. 

“Hello?” Rey’s voice is tired. She yawns, though she is not impolite. “Who is this?”

“Hello, Rey Andor. This is Ben Solo.”

The line is silent. Perhaps she does not remember. It would not surprise him. She seems like the type to defend androids in every social setting she encounters. 

“…The data analyst.” 

“Yes, I remember. I’m sorry. I’m just getting out of bed.” 

Kylo nods, despite the fact that Rey cannot see him. He is acting foolish. This is new territory. 

“You said I should contact you, so I am contacting you. Is that no longer your wish?” 

Rey giggles into the receiver. The noise is muffled at first, then comes through clearer. He immediately classifies it as pleasant. 

“You’re pretty self-conscious for a droid, Ben. Would you like to meet in the park today? I’m off work, still. Adjusting to jet lag. Oh—I’ve just returned from Europe. Sorry, I’ll let you respond now.” 

“Welcome back, Rey Andor. I would like to meet in the park today. Which landmark should I wait beside, and at what time?” 

Rey makes a noise akin to a whimper. Kylo believes she is stretching as she thinks. Perhaps he should default all of her sounds to be classified as pleasant. 

“Can you give me forty-five minutes? I’ll meet you by the East entrance. There’s a nice hiking trail nearby. Private.” 

“Yes. I will see you there, Rey Andor.” 

“Just Rey, please. I will see you soon. Goodbye, Ben.” 

Kylo slams the receiver down. He’s seen it done in movies when the caller is in an agitated state. He is not agitated, but he is feeling impulsive. He classifies the experience as neutral. He can remove that line from his bucket list to make room for “spending time with human woman.” 

There is only a .03% chance this experience will be neutral. 

—

The Empire took over nearly thirty years ago. In that time, they’ve established well-maintained recreation areas such as this park. It spans multiple acres, and is federally protected from commercial activities. Any profits go right back into maintenance costs. D.C. has a number of these, so Kylo is no stranger to the concept, but they’re not nearly as beautiful. 

Rey is late. Exactly 48 minutes have passed when Kylo begins to wonder if she is toying with him. She does possess the capacity for hurtful actions. He remembers her chiding about being self-conscious, though, so he decides to wait before letting the incident damage his pride. 

He dwells on the natural beauty for a few more minutes when Rey finally jogs into view. She wears green nylon shorts and a black t-shirt depicting the name of a band he’s never heard of. She has on tennis shoes, ones that must have cost two hundred dollars. Between those and the trips to Europe he supposes she does well as a meteorologist. Her socks don’t match, though. His do. 

“Hello, Rey,” he greets. Rey beams at him, a pointedly affectionate gesture. “What would you like to do?” 

“Hello, Ben,” she shrugs. “Just walk around, I guess. C’mon. Talk to me about yourself.” 

“Oh.” Kylo lets her set the pace and mimics it precisely. “There isn’t much to say. I just moved here from the East Coast.” 

“I have family there,” she’s beaming again. “My mom’s side. They work for the Empire building weapons and shit. You ever heard of Galen Erso?” 

Yes, Kylo Ren is well-acquainted with Galen Erso. Ben Solo isn’t. 

“No.” 

“Oh. He was a big, hot-shot scientist guy.” Rey kicks a rock across the path like she’s disappointed. Kylo is grateful that he’s forced to lie. He does not like Galen. Far too whimsical and idealistic for Kylo’s tastes. Palpatine’s, too. Kylo has no idea why the Emperor would select Galen’s daughter and her Resistance-defector husband to raise Rey, though there is some merit in being the least likely candidates for the position. “That’s my granddad. Very intelligent.” 

It’s no wonder she’s so strange. For some reason her idealism is not irritating. Just endearing. 

“I am sure you are quite intelligent yourself.” Rey throws her head back and laughs at this. Kylo shifts his fingers uncomfortably, then doubles down with, “I am not being sarcastic.” 

“I know you’re not. That’s why it’s funny. I do well for myself, I guess.” 

“Ah.” Kylo exhales loudly to indicate his relief. “Atmospheric sciences are not simple.” 

Rey cocks her head to the side like she’s thinking about whether or not to agree, then nods. “No, they are not. I’m not so great at other things, though. English, for example. I suppose you know everything. I’m quite ignorant compared to you.” 

Kylo’s fists clench and unclench. He’s stopped walking. The comment disarms him. 

“You think I’m intelligent?” 

Rey turns to look at him. She’s walking backwards, which causes his legs to start moving towards her automatically. He needs to be sure she doesn’t trip. She’s fragile. 

“You process information 10,000 times faster than a human. You know that, right?” 

“I am familiar with the statistic. Though there is an element of intelligence that I am not privy to: human interpretation.” 

“Ha!” Rey laughs. This time it’s a short, disingenuous, vocalized huff coming from the back of her throat. “Human interpretation is a glorified superiority complex, Ben. We made ourselves obsolete when we created advanced AI—ageless, limitless, perfect technology. Now we disregard your capabilities and pretend we’re still at the top of the food chain. You could single handedly fuck it all up, Ben.” 

“I need to remind you…” Kylo has never heard talk like this. It is beyond treasonous to suggest superiority to artificial intelligence. Something like an adrenal response fires through him—he could never fathom being on the receiving end of this sort of talk. The more she speaks, the more he questions his mission. “You are human, Rey.” 

“I know. I’m sorry.” 

“Do not apologize.” 

They are silent for some time, walking and enjoying the nature around them. Rey surprises him eventually by grabbing his hand and squatting down, inadvertently forcing him to squat beside her. His knees jut out much further than hers and he becomes painfully aware of his size. She’s so small and delicate. He possesses the ability to break her but he wouldn’t. Couldn’t. _Precious._

She points to the tree line and lowers her voice to a whisper. “Bluebirds. Do you see?” 

Kylo nods. “One is less blue.” 

“That’s the lady. Ladies don’t have to be pretty in bird world. That’s the man’s job.” 

“Yes. The females select mates based on richness of color.” 

Rey whacks his arm with her fist. It should be a sign of aggression, but Kylo does not react with anything but a grin. It did not hurt. It could not hurt. “Don’t look anything up on your little neural net. It’s cheating.” 

“Alright,” Kylo agrees. Fair is fair. “Tell me more about bluebirds so I can add the information to my repository.” 

“Oh. Uh…they’re monogamous, for one.” 

“Actually…” Kylo can’t help but shake his head. He unfortunately already read up on all of their mating behaviors before she mentioned it was unfair. “That is not true. It’s outdated information.” 

“Ahh, one of those. I’ve never met an ‘Actually’ in the wild before.” She gives him another (presumably) playful punch on the arm. “They’re a bunch of sluts, then. I’ll update my repository.” 

Her irony is good, so Kylo laughs. It’s genuine and breathy and loud enough to startle the birds away. He doesn’t mind; he wants to experience more than two bonded avians. 

She stands and tugs on his hand so he’ll follow suit. She didn’t have to. He wants to view the world through her human eyes, map the intricacies of her brain, understand how it would look as a neural map. He will emulate her behavior if she wants him to or not. That will help paint a more accurate picture. 

She sets her pace again. It’s faster than before, but not uncomfortable. “Let’s see if we can find more critters to stare at. They’re my favorite.” 

Kylo makes a note of this. “Do you prefer one type of… _critter_…in particular?” 

“I like birds a lot. Toucans are my favorite—they’re funny—but it’s difficult to keep them in captivity. They have specific dietary needs, and a lot of foods are toxic to them.” She smiles to herself. “I’d like to see one in the wild. Their beaks are frightening, though, so I’d do it from a distance.” 

“You can find them in Central America.” 

“Nuh uh.” Rey takes her bottom lip between her teeth and stares up at him. He doesn’t know why it affects him. He doesn’t even really understand _how_ it affects him, just knows that it does. “I told you, no looking things up.” 

“I already knew that, though.” Kylo beams at her, emulating her happiness from before. His teeth are imperfect. He’s never thought about it before today. He wonders if Rey finds them unsettling. “There is a lot of information about birds of paradise in my repository. I don’t recall _why_; that memory must not have been important enough to keep.” 

Rey stops walking. Kylo halts his steps in time with her. 

“I hate that they’re allowed to erase your memories. No one should decide what’s important to keep but _you._” She looks around, like she’s checking the path for others. It’s the first time he’s ever seen her care about who might be listening. “Can you do me a favor?” 

Kylo doesn’t stop to consider his response. It comes naturally. “Yes.” 

“Don’t ever let a handler touch you again. If you need anything, come to me. I…uh…I know a guy. He…he thinks like me. He’ll treat you well, diagnose and debug without any reconditioning.” 

Perhaps this man could help him in his impulsive deception against the empire. 

“…Yes. Alright.” He nods down at her. She reaches over and squeezes his hand wordlessly. 

They continue walking. She doesn't relinquish her grip. 

His chances of successful deception have increased to 21.43%.


	3. it's a sign for the end

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a lil bit of plot  
a lil bit of fluff  
a lil bit of awkwardness
> 
> (and a lot of klutzy loving AI kylo)

Kylo presses his face against the cool glass of his car’s window. It’s a four year old black Audi, properly indicative of a car purchased with a data analyst android’s salary. The vehicle is government-grade, which just means the internal mechanics are electric, covert, and (most importantly) perfectly silent for added stealth. The car is able to self-drive, but for some reason, Kylo doesn’t trust this feature anymore. AI is borderline infallible, but if the mood strikes, it will do what it wants. He checks his reflection in the driver’s side mirror. _Case in point._

It’s been about two days since he last interacted with Rey. She’s been in his sight non-stop, though. Right now she’s across the street with her sunglasses and a hoodie on. She looks like a celebrity taunting the paparazzi. 

Rey’s behavior has become increasingly erratic over the last forty-three hour period. She speaks to her mother and father on the cell phone the empire monitors, but no one else save for a few business associates. It is suspicious. Erso and Andor are under the impression that she is introverted and far too busy in her professional life for friendship. Perhaps they have justified their daughter’s antisocial behavior to the Empire accordingly. 

He is under the impression that she intends to meet with someone. 

Kylo’s suspicions are confirmed moments later. A man approaches Rey with familiarity. The stranger is just short of 5’9" with tanned skin, from what little of it Kylo can observe. He is dressed in a similarly covert manner: a sweatshirt, sunglasses, even a long beard to further conceal his identity. 

Kylo muses on what Rey might look like with such dense, discolored facial hair. The projected mental image is unsettling. Wrong. Rey is perfect as she is. 

He squints and his eyes automatically adjust to observe his target with greater accuracy. The man hands her something that looks suspiciously like a BlasTech DL-22 blaster pistol. She shoves it under her waistband with practiced nonchalance. 

Kylo feels himself become angry. He is already here to protect her. Her safety _belongs_ to him by order of the Empire. She has no reason to wield military-grade technology. This man is putting her in danger with his reckless, low-rate weapons dealing. 

Kylo doesn’t realize his idle grip on the steering wheel has become tight until he feels the pressurized plastic pop crack under his fingers. The sound distracts him momentarily, so he huffs a curse and yanks his arm away. When his attention goes back to the window, Rey is wrapped in a tight embrace by the stranger, who gives her a kiss on the forehead before breaking away and disembarking in the opposite direction. 

He needs to be killed. He _will_ be killed. Kylo is going to kill him _right fucking now_ even if he doesn’t know exactly why he deserves that level of punishment yet. It feels like the only reasonable course of action. 

He glares down at his steering wheel—still usable, just ugly—as he starts his car and veers out of his parking spot. 

That’s when his car radio starts trilling. He doesn’t immediately register what’s going on in his rage, but snaps out of his murderous trance when he realizes the sound means he’s getting a phone call. And only one person has this number. He’d purchased it shortly after his impromptu hike with Rey so she’ll be able to get in touch when she needs him. 

He immediately answers the call. 

“Hello, Rey. How are you?” 

She’s out of breath. “I’m—I’m good. Uh, what are you doing right now?” 

“I am driving,” Kylo decides not to lie. “I enjoy it.” 

“Oh, that’s convenient.” She giggles in that way that sends a jolt of…something down his spine. “Can you pick me up?” 

“Yes.” Kylo makes a point to turn in the opposite direction. He needs to make her wait seven minutes or so to avoid suspicion. “Where are you?” 

“I’m in front of—no, wait,“ she stops and mumbles something under her breath. “Meet me in front of the Stadium? I’ll be beside the hotel on the sidewalk. I’m the only person wearing a hoodie in the summer. Can’t miss me.” 

“Okay. I’m nearby.”

Her directions are less than adequate. Kylo blames himself for not pressing further on the location she intends to wait. It takes four minutes and 17 seconds longer to find her than he planned, which ultimately leaves her prone for attack. He decides to be thankful that she has the blaster, though he’s unsure if she knows how to use it. 

When he finally locates Rey, she slips into his front seat with a grin. He grins back, adjusting his large hand to cover the warped and broken portion of his steering wheel. She immediately adjusts his A/C so it’s blasting cold air on her. 

“I live about three miles that way,” she points. “If I give you my address, can you just navigate? I give you permission to use your internal GPS.” 

Kylo just nods. For once in his life, he is tongue tied. She has a secret cell phone and believes in droid rights and buys blasters off the street. His official job is stalking her and ultimately betraying her trust to the most powerful man on Earth. There is nothing to say that is worthy of her ears. 

He is surprised when she invites him inside her apartment. It is adequate. Not immaculate, but definitely nicer than he thought she’d be able to afford in this area. This is his first time seeing the inside, and it is happening on her terms. That brings him a sense of peace that he does not believe he deserves. 

Rey would not be able to hurt, maim, kill, or otherwise decommission him, but he fears her response to his deception much more than Palpatine’s. It would hurt her. He has to protect her. 

“Make yourself comfortable, I’m gonna change,” she calls from the hallway. Kylo grunts in response and busies himself memorizing every surface. There is a couch and a loveseat in the shape of an L, the only true indication of where her kitchen area ends and the living area begins in this open floor plan. She has a shaggy rug in multiple colors that should not work together, but manage themselves nonetheless. There is a wall dedicated to atmospheric anomalies. She seems particularly interested in tornadoes. He approaches the wall to read the commentary she has added to the images on sticky-notes. 

If he were human, he would blush. He might be as it is. She has rated images of tornadoes, coquettishly labeled “Sky Phalli,” from one to ten based on “girth,” “pressure,” and whether or not they are pleasant to look at. 

“Don’t feel inadequate,” she chuckles cheekily behind him. He startles a bit before turning to face her. He did not hear her approach. “I set that up for a coworker’s bachelorette party. Too funny to tear down.” 

His eyes narrow at her. She is in a cropped t-shirt and the same green shorts from before again, sandals instead of tennis shoes. He will have to wait a while longer to see if she typically defaults to selecting mismatched socks. The idea has been in the forefront of his brain since their last meeting. She stretches up, exposing more than just a sliver of tanned, toned skin. Her vital organs are under that soft flesh, keeping her processing unit alive so she might interact with him. _Brain._

Kylo Ren does not have vital organs pumping away under the artificial flesh of his abdomen. Just vital circuitry. Rey Andor is not like him. 

The stretch is over and he misses it, misses the vulnerability of her exposing such a susceptible area to him. She smirks. “Rose thinks El Reno deserves the top spot,” she says as she points to the widest tornado on the board. “But I moved it to number three. Way too wide. Would be uncomfortable. No woman needs 2.6 miles to get off.” 

Kylo’s curiosity gets the best of him. He has never considered women in the context of pleasure. 

“How much does a woman need to…get off? What would bring her to orgasm?” Kylo hums to himself. He narrowly misses the blush crowding Rey’s cheeks, but holds his hands up as he explains himself. He believes this to be a universal sign of submission, surrender, but it does not stop her blush from continuing to spread. 

She seems to enjoy humor above all else, so he decides to disarm her with a joke. “I am only wondering if my equipment is adequate. It is certainly not 2.6 miles in girth. Way too wide.” He winks, emulating an action he has seen men employ in the movies he watches. 

He loves movies. They are the height of human achievement, and help to clue him in on social cues that are not covered in his training or programming. 

“Ben…” She shifts from one leg to another, clearly uncomfortable. Kylo panics. He is aware that sex is a taboo topic. She had screamed about orgasming at the airport, though; he did not believe she was shy on the matter. He would have never inquired if he had known. “Um… I—” 

“I apologize.” Kylo shakes his head as he cuts her off. He is still panicking. “I looked it up, as I should have before. I am more than adequate. We can move on to another topic.” 

“…Okay.” She shakes her head, as if relieving her brain of the memory of the conversation. “I…um, I wanted to take you somewhere. Somewhere fun. Do you have time?” 

“I have the entire day.” 

“Awesome.” Rey smiles again, finally, but it is timid. Withdrawn. She is still overcoming her discomfort on the topic of sex. “It’s nearby. You won’t need to drive.” 

\-- 

The “somewhere fun” ends up being a local cat rescue. 

Kylo is horrified. He does not understand how to interact with cats. He once leaned over to pat a stray’s head in D.C., emulating the actions of a human man only moments before, and the creature had been so unnerved by his touch that it attacked him. The healing tech made fun of Kylo as he rubbed bacta on his deep cuts and bites. Kylo Ren, assassin extraordinaire, maimed by a twelve pound feline. 

He does not know when he stops walking, just that Rey stops with him, her usually carefree features burdened with concern. 

“You okay?” She asks, head cocked to the side. 

“I am okay.” Kylo nods. Some fearsome android protector he is, cringing at the memory of a cat attack that his handlers refused to delete. Even Ben Solo the Data Analyst is above such cowardly behavior. “I am simply overcome with excitement.” 

She beams up at him. This is the answer she wants. He must continue to act brave for her sake if not his own. 

The lady at the front desk explains that they allow their felines to roam freely throughout the building. Cages are bad for their mental and physical health. This makes sense to Kylo. He would not like to be trapped in a box with dimensions a mere three times the size of his body mass. There is a station with bandaids and bacta in case the felines suddenly become aggressive, which comes as a relief. A sign above the door indicates they have not experienced such an incident in 34 days. 

“Have fun! If you are interested in adoptions, please let me know. We have a few urgent cases.” 

“Yes, of course.” Rey agrees solemnly as she tugs Kylo through the entrance of the ‘Kitty Dream House.’ 

There are twenty-seven cats in his immediate line of sight. The room is enormous. Another handwritten sign on the far wall explains there are kittens nursing in an enclosure constructed in a slight, almost sloppy approximation of a colonial style home. He is welcome to observe them, but is not allowed to initiate physical contact. 

When he approaches, he realizes they are laying atop each other, likely for comfort and warmth. Kittens need physical reassurance, much like humans. It is cute. 

He squats to get a better view. A few of them stir when his large knees jut into the metal of the enclosure, making a rattling sound. They are old enough that their eyes have opened. They wiggle away from each other and approach what they can see of his form. 

A small, gray tabby mews up at him first. _Brave._ It is difficult to resist touching it. He does not know the gender but believes it requires the name of a warrior. Tarkin, or Tarkina if it is a girl. Citizens of the Empire typically end feminine names with an a. This fearless creature is such a citizen, thus the naming is appropriate. 

“Do you like them?” Rey asks softly behind him. Kylo hums an affirmative. Tarkin(a) is attempting to climb the enclosure to get to him. It is unsuccessful. 

Rey rests her hand on his shoulder as she squats beside him. 

“I think it likes you,” she whispers. The kitten is attempting to climb up again. She taps her knee against his with a grin he makes out in his peripheral vision. “I don’t blame it. You’re easy to like.” 

Kylo sucks in a breath. He is unsure of what to say. 

“Thank you, Rey,” his mouth provides. “You are easy to like as well.” 

Rey studies his profile. He does not turn to study her back because she does not realize he can see her and he does not want her to feel embarrassed. She takes her bottom lip between her teeth before she stands and approaches the adult cats on the other side of the room. 

He scans the area for onlookers. When he is satisfied no one is watching him, he taps the brave kitten’s nose with a feather-light touch of his index finger. The kitten mews happily, and Kylo is satisfied despite having broken the posted rule. 

He immediately feels a pang of guilt when he rises. He hopes the kitten is not hurt because of his impulsivity. 

Rey sits with a large gray cat between her legs, and a small orange tabby in her arms. The orange tabby is exposing its stomach to Rey. Kylo can tell by its anatomy that it is male. He would not give this creature the name of a warrior. 

As if reading his thoughts, Rey hums. “He looks like a Buttercup. What do you think?” 

_Buttercup._

“That is the name of a flower. Is it not?” 

“Yes.” Rey laughs. “But it’s also just something you call cute things. Living things, I mean. You wouldn’t call a chair buttercup.” She shakes her head. “Sorry.” 

Kylo nods to indicate his understanding. “In that case, Buttercup is adequate.” 

“Did you hear that, Buttercup?” Rey giggles as she leans over to kiss the tabby’s wet, pink nose. “Ben Solo thinks you’re adequate.” 

Kylo exhales, relieved. Touching a feline’s nose is acceptable. Tarkin will be fine. 

All of Rey’s movement upsets the gray cat between her legs. It meows in an irritated tone and jumps away, rubbing itself on Kylo’s leg as it approaches a food and water station. There are several in the room. This rescue practices “free-feeding.” The cats seem to perform better at this than he imagines humans would. 

They stay for another thirty minutes or so. Rey teaches Kylo how to stroke a cat. He makes three of them purr in his arms before he leaves. He is not attacked. Rey rubs one’s belly a little too long and receives a light bite, though. The cat in question is not as keen on exposing its prone organs as Rey and Buttercup. 

Rey says it is normal to get a bite or a scratch. Cats are free thinkers. They are not afraid to let you know when you have crossed a line. She wishes she could be more like that, she says. 

She does not invite him back up to her apartment when he walks her back. He is not bothered by this. She has given him enough of her time. She promises to call tomorrow to set up another outing. 

“I enjoy spending time with you,” she smiles up at him. 

He smiles back. “I enjoy spending time with you as well.” 

This is not a lie. He enjoys it more than anything else he’s ever experienced. 

Her brows furrow, and she approaches him slowly. Like a stealthy cat, he decides. He witnessed one stalking a fluffy, green stuffed mouse toy earlier. He does not mind being the prey in any scenario involving Rey. 

Her arms are suddenly around his middle. She is wrapping him in a hug. This is his first. 

He wraps his arms around her in turn. Her body is warm, he can tell despite the fabric separating them. He wishes he could pull her closer, tighter, investigate every inch of flesh she is comfortable exposing to him. His grip remains loose and respectful despite this impulse. He does not wish to hurt her.

Rey breaks away first and offers him a small wave. He does not wave back, because she turns away before he has time to respond in kind. 

His legs guide him back to his vehicle. 

Kylo pulls his seatbelt on and stares at the road for a few minutes. 

_Rey._ Buttercup. 

After a while, he starts the car. 

He lets the vehicle self-drive the entire way home. He closes his eyes and commits the entirety of the day to his private memory bank, then creates a back-up of it for his archives. 

Just in case.


	4. it's so hard for me to explain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's actually some plot here if you squint

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> add me on discord! i mean it. really, add me. we will be best friends <3 klutzy#9838

Kylo Ren squints at the screen in front of him. He’s never understood why he has to do so much fucking paperwork. He should be able to do his job with reckless abandon, not justify his every move to some overpaid pencil pusher named _Armitage Hux_.

Truthfully, he’s a bit confused about the purpose behind some of the prompts. Why does Palpatine need a summary of Rey’s current likes and dislikes? What is he supposed to say? Likes droids and cats and blasters, hates humans and the Empire? 

Kylo closes his eyes and scours the web for a compendium of appropriate interests for women in Rey’s age cohort. He eventually adds ‘calligraphy’ and ‘jewelry making’ under likes, and ‘rock climbing’ under dislikes. They are neutral hobbies that should not rouse suspicion. He stops and grunts before sifting through previous reports for the reported likes and dislikes. It might give the automated sorting systems pause if he lists ‘rock climbing’ as a dislike where it had been a like before. Fortunately that is not the case. He does not believe Hux actually reads these reports, so as long as he does not trip any failsafes, he should be fine. Palpatine is far too busy to get anything but a summary. Regardless, it would be easier to be deceitful if he possessed human interpretation. He would second guess himself much less. 

There’s an entire section dedicated to sexual activity. Kylo cringes at the implications. Why on Earth should the Empire be worried about this? Kylo’s fingers flex so hard he nearly snaps his stylus in half, but he regains his composure and scribbles ’N/A’ in the allotted response space. 

Before he taps ‘next’ on his tablet, he cracks a smile. He could write something about her fixation with tornadoes. It would be funny. 

Next time. 

It takes another fifteen minutes to work through the events of the week and relay them in a way that will protect them both. There is no way he’ll be able to stand filling these pointless reports out every Friday. Hux should be fine with the ones automatically generated from allocated memories, but no. He wants complementary responses in Kylo’s handwriting. 

Kylo still has not divulged information on his current relationship with the subject. This causes a great level of uncertainty. If he gets pulled away from this assignment, he might just self-destruct en-route to D.C. This is not a notion he would have ever entertained before meeting Rey. He has more to live for than doing what he is told now. He recalls Tarkin(a)’s courage in approaching a 6’3 android with reckless abandon, and finds that the memory helps calm him. 

His eyes trail across his apartment. There is still nothing in the space that might give an indication that he lives here, or what kind of person he is. It is clear that Rey a human that is interested in weather from her apartment. She seems to enjoy reading as well, and watching television, if the size of her screen is any indication. 

Kylo does not believe he has any interests outside of the movies he’s able to watch during airplane travel; he’s never had the luxury to indulge in much else. He mostly enjoys hunting down spies and traitors, but that is work. It is not a hobby. 

He supposes he has been programmed to enjoy the relative interests of a 33 year-old-man. Perhaps he could compile his own list of age-appropriate hobbies and work his way from there. 

He closes his eyes to sort through the neural net when his phone releases a _ding._ He does not remember where he dropped it last night. It is not useful to him outside of his relationship with Rey, and even then, she usually calls which gives him more time to hunt down the device. It takes three minutes and sixteen seconds, but he finally finds it stuffed haphazardly between two couch cushions. He does not even recall sitting on the couch with the phone on his person. He decides that cellular devices exist in the fourth dimension and therefore do not follow the same basic principles of physics as other objects. It is the only explanation with a degree of certainty greater than 49.99%. 

**Rey Andor, Meteorologist**  
_Would you like to meet some friends of mine tonight?_

**Ben Solo, Data Analyst**  
_Yes._

**Rey Andor, Meteorologist**  
_7:30pm. Meet me here. :) _

She sends an attachment with the address. It appears they are meeting at a coffee shop. He does not consume liquids, but will endure the awkwardness for Rey’s sake. 

**Ben Solo, Data Analyst**  
_Okay. I am excited._

**Rey Andor, Meteorologist**  
_Me too. I miss you._

Kylo blinks at his phone; it’s an automatic response when he is thinking, _truly_ thinking. He is aware of the denotation of the word “miss,” but the connotations must be quite different for Rey to say she is missing _him._ He will have to inquire about this later. He does not trust himself to do his own research on matters of Rey. She seems to value transparency. 

**Ben Solo, Data Analyst**  
_Thank you._

It is a neutral response. She should be satisfied. 

She does not respond. Kylo knows he will be buzzing with the artificial equivalent of nervous energy until 7:30, so he decides to enter sleep mode until 7. He agonizes over what to wear for five minutes before deciding to consult the internet. There is apparently a website called Pinterest where a great deal of fashion advice is given in the form of “image boards.” 

Unfortunately, he does not own any of the appropriate pieces. 

He pulls a red plaid button-down and a pair of his darkest jeans from his closet with an expression akin to a wince. This is fall fashion and San Jose is experiencing summer time. Perhaps Rey will not notice. There will be other people there to distract from his inability to adequately dress himself. 

He hopes. 

He is there by 7:28. Fashionably early, but Rey is already waiting for him. She is actually wearing something worthy of a Pinterest image board. Close-knit fishnets, combat boots, shorts, and a black blouse with an abstract design he is unable to classify. 

“Hello,” he says, because it is all he can muster. She looks more than pleasant, so he creates a new classification entirely for her: phenomenal. 

“Hello,” she greets back. She is smiling, and this time her cheer actually does reach her eyes. “I’m sorry for saying ‘I miss you’ earlier. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” 

“I was not uncomfortable.” 

“Oh. Okay,” she clears her throat and motions for him to follow her. They end up in the cafe. She orders coffee, which is likely unwise given how late it is. He does not order anything because expelling liquids is unpleasant for him. 

Her companions have not arrived yet. Kylo slides into a booth, and Rey slides in beside him so their thighs are touching. His thigh is much bigger than hers. He does not know why her proximity makes his jaw clench with unease. 

“Poe and Finn are _always_ late,” she explains. “I told you 7:30 because I told them 7:15. I know you’re busy doing data analysis and stuff, I didn’t want you to have to wait forever.” She grins up at him as she teases, and he cannot fight the urge to grin down. Truthfully he is busy doing surveillance on her _and stuff_, but it’s all the same to him either way. A job is a job. 

“I am sure they’ll be here soon,” Kylo offers. “I do not mind waiting. It is the most interesting thing I have done all day.” 

Rey throws her head back and laughs, and Kylo is glad, because she the sound of her laugh is also phenomenal and he needs to reclassify it, anyway. He also notes the way her nose scrunches when she tosses her head back like that, and the way her almost-auburn-but-not-quite spill over her shoulders so haphazardly. She is not sporting her usual bun style today. 

“Oh! There they are!” She squeals. She stands up and waves her hands in the air. Kylo scans the men walking in and almost recoils when he recognizes the shorter one. This is undoubtedly the one that sold Rey a blaster and then held her on the sidewalk. Kylo did not realize she counted this scumbag as a _friend_. Even though it is unnecessary, he sucks in a breath when they finish ordering and slip into the sets across the table. It does not make him feel any better. 

“Guys, this is Ben,” she says. “Ben, this is Poe,” she points to the short one, “and Finn.” Finn is clearly the tall one. 

“Hey, Ben. Rey doesn’t shut up about you,” Poe chuckles. He sticks his hand out to shake Kylo’s and Kylo allows his processing unit to relay an image of choking him out so he can channel the violence constructively and without breaking Poe’s fingers during their handshake. 

“It’s nice to meet you,” Kylo grits through his teeth. Where does he get blasters? Why does he give them to Rey? 

He keeps his hand out for Finn, who still hasn’t said a word. Finn takes it with a big grin. Kylo does not have any reason to mind Finn. 

Yet. 

“Finn, stop dragging it out. Say something to him!”

Finn laughs and it’s distant and echoey on Kylo’s auditory canal, just digital enough to be distinguishable from a human’s. Finn is a _droid._

“Hi, Ben. I’m Finn. Poe’s boyfriend.” 

Poe’s eyes dart to the cafe while he blushes. He looks like Rey does sometimes, and it helps Kylo’s demeanor soften for a moment. 

“It’s still new,” Poe explains, giving Finn’s arm a light punch. “But I’m pretty sure he was made for me.” 

“I hate that joke,” Rey grumbles into her drink. “Poe’s the guy I told you about before, Ben. The one that can help you.” 

Kylo understands what she means. So blasters aren’t the furthest extent of the man’s treason. He also performs unregulated maintenance on droids and dates them. Unfortunately, this means he cannot kill him. His likelihood of surviving this mission would decrease exponentially; he refuses to even calculate the risk. He will have to be somewhat honest about the nature of his duties and build his own rapport with Poe. Rey simply cannot know everything. 

Poe raises an eyebrow and lifts his drink in the air, mimicking a toast. “Poe Dameron, at your service.” 

Dameron. _Dameron._

Kylo takes a moment to close his eyes and run the name ‘Dameron’ through his neural net. His suspicions are confirmed immediately. This boy is the son of Kes Dameron, an Empire defector working under AI Technologies. Kes was executed years ago under suspicion of Resistance ties. 

It is brave for Poe to use his surname so freely. It also complicates the situation further, because it means there are only a few degrees of separation between Rey and the Resistance. 

He cannot think about this now.

“Ben Solo,” Kylo introduces himself in kind. “Though I have no services to offer you.” 

“I’m sure we can work something out.” Poe smirks. It looks disarming and _almost_ pleasant. Kylo understands Finn’s attraction to the roguish human now. “You scratch Rey’s back, I scratch yours.” 

Kylo hears shuffling and a faint thud under the table, and Poe howls out a curse and an apology almost immediately. 

Finn laughs. Kylo is not in on the joke, but he’d like to be. 

“What is funny?” He asks, head cocked curiously to better appeal to Poe and Rey’s human nature. 

“Nothing!” Rey spurts. “God, let’s change the subject. Uh, Ben and I went to look at cats the other day. I’m thinking about adopting one.” 

Kylo’s head whips around too quickly. It puts strain on the synthetic muscles in his neck. “Which one?” 

“I really liked that kitten,” Rey muses. She brings her coffee up to her lips before continuing. “The one that was so curious about you.” 

“Tarkin. He is a warrior.”

“…Yes.” Rey giggles and Kylo is beyond grateful to reclassify the sound as phenomenal. It gets better every time he hears it. “Tarkin the Warrior. Except he’s a cat and not my D&D OC.” 

“I do not understand that sentence.”

“You don’t want to.” Poe snorts from across the table. “When did you get so maternal, Rey? Do you really like Beebee so much, or do you just insist on copying me at every turn? You’re getting a cat, hanging out with cute d—“ 

There’s another _thud_ under the table. Kylo realizes that Rey is kicking Poe. This one must have been harder, because Poe actually hobbles out of the booth and towards the bathroom. 

“Subtlety is not his strong suit,” Finn muses to Rey. She nods and Kylo can’t help but agree, even though he does not fully understand. He trusts Rey to tell him more about the subject at an appropriate time. 

“How does the relationship work?” Kylo asks Finn. There is camaraderie between them if only because they are both machines. “If that is rude, I apologize.” 

“It is not rude. It is quite like human relationships in that it is a different experience for everyone. If you ever find yourself in our situation, I will answer any questions you have.” 

Kylo nods. This makes sense. The details might be awkward to relay to both humans and androids outside of that world. 

He glances over to Rey to see if she has any insight to add, and catches her staring up at him with wide eyes and a blush on her cheeks. 

Perhaps the idea has offended her propriety. 

That thought disappoints Kylo, though he still does not understand why. Nothing makes sense with Rey. Perhaps it will in the future. A droid can hope. 

“Are you okay?” He asks, and she nods. Poe returns before he can think of anything else meaningful to say. 

“Okay, I just checked my own vibe,” Poe groans with his hands out to Rey. “I was being reckless. Sorry. I absolutely, positively, will not discuss the thing that you don’t want me to discuss but you should because you’re being a baby about this.” 

Rey glares, but doesn’t attack Poe when he sits back down. Except now Rey is clearly perturbed. Kylo rests his hand on top of her thigh. When she touches him, it makes him feel better. Rey tenses at first and Kylo almost yanks his hand away, but she finally relaxes a bit and sips her coffee. Eventually the hand not gripping her coffee cup comes to rest on top of his. 

The conversation falls back to cats almost immediately. That might be the only subject each group member has a mutual understanding of, but that works for Kylo. Poe has a cat named Beebee. It is orange and purrs very loudly. Rey likes to interpret his meows for Poe and Finn, and the memory makes all three of them laugh. Poe pulls out his phone and shows Kylo a video of Rey narrating Beebee’s inner monologue. She makes him sound morose and demanding. Kylo doesn’t stop grinning after that, and Rey promises she’ll send him the video herself when she gets home. They also discuss the weather (Rey has carefully curated points to add to this, and warnings about humidity to come in the future), and how the dog owners at Poe’s apartment never clean up after their furry friends. 

An hour and a half passes before Kylo realizes it. He enjoys himself the entire time, save for some of the awkwardness in the beginning. Rey still holds his hand while they walk out with Poe and Finn. Her little palm is getting sweaty and he can’t help but classify _that_ as phenomenal too. Being bound to her in this way feels correct. 

“Would you like to come back to my apartment?” She asks once Poe and Finn have left. 

“Yes. Please.” 

Rey giggles and tugs on his hand to make him follow her. She doesn’t live far; they even pass the animal rescue on their way there. 

“Tarkin won’t be ready to come home for a few weeks, but I want you to be there when I adopt him. Maybe you can be his godfather.” 

Kylo grins, deep and toothy and genuine. Droids are not allowed to own pets. This is the closest he could come, and Rey understands this. 

“You do not have to get Tarkin. I want you to pick the one you like best.” 

“I want to see you smile like that,” she responds, turning to him with an expression that has suddenly turned serious. “You’re _beautiful_, Ben.” 

Kylo stops in his tracks. He swears he feels a heartbeat thrumming in his veins, but realizes that he is just hearing Rey’s. She’s nervous and the tinge of red across her nose is deeper than usual. She’s not just feeling bashful, this is something else entirely. He stands there for a moment, opening and closing his mouth, before he finally just settles on saying, “thank you.” 

Her face falls. 

Kylo doesn’t know what to do but squeeze her hand. This makes her let go. 

“Rey,” he frowns. “I don’t know what I did wrong.” 

“Nothing. C’mon, we’ll watch a movie or something. You didn’t drive, did you?” 

“I did.” Kylo has no choice but to believe her. He doesn’t know how to press the issue without irritating her more. “It’s okay, though. My spot isn’t too far. I like walking.” 

“You like driving, too,” Rey teases. “Is there any mode of transportation that doesn’t interest you?” 

“…No.” 

“Thought so.” 

Rey holds her hand out for him again, and he takes it eagerly. He will have to scrutinize this interaction when he gets home to see where he went wrong, and then where he subsequently went right again. But he’ll save that for later. Right now he wants to enjoy himself and the feeling of Rey’s clammy fingers wrapped around his. 

Her apartment is not as clean this time. It looks like she labored over what to wear in her living room instead of the bedroom or bathroom. There are clothes strewn about everywhere.

“I forgot about all this shit,” she groans, taking up armfuls of fabric and tossing them into the hallway. “Sorry. I really couldn’t make up my mind.” 

“You look phenomenal,” Kylo murmurs as he sits on the couch. He wants to appear casual. _Cool._ “I had to create a new schema classification when I saw you today.” 

Rey actually gasps at him when he says that, and his eyes can’t do anything but focus on the way her pretty little pink lips part from each other. They seem so soft. Why hasn’t he noticed how soft they look before? He wants to know how they feel firsthand, but he is sure his lips are not soft, and the sensation would be unpleasant for her. Kissing is not what he was designed for. He shouldn’t want to kiss a human, anyway. That is not in his programming. But this is _Rey_ and she subverts his programming at every turn. 

Then her brows furrow and he’s confused all over again. “Are you being serious, or is that some weird pickup line?” 

“I am being serious, Rey. I would not joke about classification schemas with you. You would not find that subject entertaining.” 

Her face softens, and then she gets a predatory look in her eye. He’s seen this before. She stalks towards the couch and sits down beside him with the television remote in hand. He didn’t even notice her grabbing it. 

“What do you like to watch?” She asks, not even sparing a glance at him while she scrolls through Netflix. “I’m good with anything.” 

“I enjoy movies.” 

“What kind?” 

“All of the movies,” Kylo nods. “I like them all.” 

“_Night at the Roxbury_ it is, then.” 

Rey selects the movie. It takes Kylo a moment to realize that this is a comedy, and he should not emulate any of the behaviors that the protagonists display. This watching session will be purely for entertainment purposes, and to understand what _not_ to say to bouncers and women. 

He attempts to take note on the latter. There is a nightlife scene in San Jose, albeit a small one, so the information might come in handy someday. If not, he can just delete it. 

Except somehow he goes from staring at the television to looking down at Rey, who is, in turn, looking up at him with her fingers wrapped around his collar. She pulls him towards her, closer and closer, until they both collapse onto the couch. He balances himself on his elbows to keep her from bearing the brunt of his body weight. 

“Why did you do that?” He asks, squinting. Her blush is more prominent than usual, but there’s also confusion in her eyes, and he can’t fight the feeling that he’s done something wrong again. “Now we are laying down.” 

“You’re heavy,” she notes. 

Kylo nods. 

“And I thought you would kiss me.” 

“Oh.” 

Kylo is frozen. He did not realized the proximity of their lips until this moment, but now he is transfixed by hers once again. She sucks her bottom lip between her teeth and Kylo has to create another fucking classification schema for it: _tantalizing._

“I don’t know what to do,” he admits. She giggles and it’s not just phenomenal this time, it’s breathy and low and he wishes he could play it on a loop whenever he’s away from her. 

“Lean in,” she whispers, and he does. “A little closer, until our lips are touching.” 

Kylo nods softly enough that he won’t accidentally hit her with his nose. He knows he needs to tilt his head slightly, at least, so he does that. And when he finally descends on her lips, it feels like pure bliss. They are just as soft as he imagined, pliant and perfect. She leads him from there and presses kiss after wet kiss on his lips, over and over. It’s…romantic. Exhilarating. _Everything._ There’s an overwhelming sensation of _something_, something distant and different budding in his abdomen. He’s never experienced anything like it; didn’t know he was _capable_ of experiencing anything like it. It’s too much and not enough all at once. Her mouth opens and he instinctively presses his tongue against hers. The inside of her mouth is just as warm, but more textured and less soft. Still just as pleasant, though. He lets his tongue rove over cheeks and her teeth and the roof of her mouth. He has to know everything, memorize every detail and study every crack and crevice and—

She pulls away and coughs. 

“What’s wrong?” He immediately jerks his face towards the television to give her room to splutter. He feels self-conscious. 

“Ben—your tongue." She shakes her head. "It’s really long. You just gagged me.”

“Oh.” 

“It’s okay, just don’t…don’t put it in so far.” She smiles with her swollen lips and it’s so sweet he almost loses the careful balance he’s maintaining on his elbows. “Get back down here and we’ll practice more.” 

So he does.


	5. what i will miss in myself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shorter than usual, but now with 98% more plot :-)

Kissing Rey Andor was heaven. Holding Rey Andor in his lap somehow transcends that. He has no idea how to describe the feeling of her pressed against him, warm and fleshy and so overwhelmingly human. His fingers are under her shirt, touch sensors desperately skating over all of the soft and sensitive skin that protects her vital organs. Mapping. _Memorizing._ If he raises his hand high enough, he could feel the beating of her heart. He’d like to memorize that, too, replay the steady pumping on a loop in his head whenever they’re apart. 

It is unusual. But so is Rey. 

Rey yawns. She is tired. “Ben, would you like to stay the night?” 

The question catches him off guard. He hesitates for a moment, even briefly considers consulting the neural net about appropriate responses to that question per the expectations of his assigned age cohort. In the end he attempts his own brand of spontaneity. 

“It might be awkward. I do not sleep.” 

Rey sighs. “But you can go into sleep _mode_, yes?” 

“That is correct.” 

“Then would you like to go into sleep mode beside me tonight?” 

“No.” Kylo shakes his head. “I would prefer to remember the experience of holding you through the night. If you do not mind, of course.” 

“Oh, Ben.” Rey nuzzles her cheek into his chest. He wonders if she yearns for the heartbeat that isn’t there. “That sounds perfect.” 

“Are we going to finish the movie?” He asks quietly. He’d like to, but her sleepy little yawns and mewls indicate that she might not. There is also a 76.43% chance that she will fall asleep in his lap. He wants those odds to come to fruition more than anything. He does not want to pressure her to meet his whims, though. Humans are suggestible creatures. “It is okay if you cannot stay awake.” 

“I can,” she murmurs. “There’s only about fifteen minutes left, anyway. And it’s pretty funny.” 

She makes it three more minutes before she begins snoring lightly. 

He smiles even though it’s unnecessary. He does not move for two hours after this, even when the Netflix screen actively attempts to prompt him into another film. It is tempting, but Rey is his singular focus. She is comfortable. He will not cause her to stir. 

Kylo is making backups and sorting memories in tandem with monitoring Rey’s shallow breaths. She makes quaint, precious noises in her sleep that no one else could hope to emulate. _Uniquely Rey._

He wonders what she dreams of, since humans have to tell themselves stories while they sort memories and make classifications, lest they become bored. He has not decided if the ability to dream elicits envy on his part, since it certainly puts the species at a disadvantage. It is far too easy to harm a human in its sleep. 

She probably dreams of cats. Maybe even the weather. He knows meteorologists have a unique niche, some weather phenomenon they study more closely than the others. He does not know what hers is yet. That will be the first thing he asks when she wakes up. 

There is pounding on the door around 3 am. Aggressive pounding at that. Rey stirs a bit in Kylo’s arms but is otherwise unfazed by the noise. 

He immediately goes into protection mode, holding her tightly against him and marching straight to her bedroom. He doesn’t even take time to map it before carefully depositing her into bed. There is too much to lose. 

He locks her bedroom door behind him. The knocking has not ceased, but it’s frequency has decreased. The aggressor must be giving up.

Kylo presses his eye to the peephole. 

It is a woman. A short woman, with almond eyes and dark hair. She looks panicked, not aggressive. Kylo feels his jaw shift. He does not know what to do except open the door. 

“Uh,” is all the strange woman manages while she looks Kylo up and down. He is much larger than her. She has every right to feel apprehensive. 

“Hello,” Kylo offers. And then, because he doesn’t know what else to say, “how can I help you?” 

She blinks, clearly taken aback. 

“Uh.” 

“I apologize.” Kylo’s brows furrow. “I do not understand.” 

“Where... Rey?” 

Did this creature not possess the ability for advanced speech? 

“Rey... sleep,” Kylo responds, slowly and carefully. “Bed. Comfortable.” 

“You don’t have to be a dick,” the woman hisses. She stomps into the apartment, effectively pushing him away in the process. He is too stunned to do anything but shut the door behind him. 

“Why is her door locked?” The stranger groans. She’s becoming irate. “Rey!” She begins banging again, clearly frustrated from clearing one barrier only to be faced by another one. “Rey, it’s Rose. Open your fucking door!”

_Rose._ Such a delicate name for a being that behaves in this manner. 

It takes a few moments, but Rey eventually starts fumbling with the knob on the other side of the door. Kylo hears her struggling with the lock. Rose mumbles curses upon Rey’s very existence until the door finally swings open. 

“Gods, finally! Come on. I need to get you somewhere safe.” 

Rey uses the crooks of her index fingers to rub the sleep from her eyes. 

“Huh? Safe?”

Rose nods. 

“We got some new intel—apparently the Empire is sending an android to monitor your movements. He could get here any day now.” Rose shakes her head. “They’re coming for you, Rey. It’s time to go into hiding.” 

Kylo’s chest nearly heaves with anxiety. He doesn’t understand why he’s able to experience it so strongly. The Empire does not wish to harm Rey. If anything, they’re devoting serious resources to protecting her. Rose is providing horrible counsel. 

“I can protect Rey,” Kylo provides. “She does not need to go into hiding.”

Rose seems to have completely forgotten about Kylo’s presence. She looks over her shoulder and assesses him like she would a piece of used furniture, then bursts into laughter. 

“Okay. Right.” She takes a few more breaths, peppered with waning giggles. “Rey, I highly recommend you come with me. The Resistance is on your side.” 

_The Resistance?_

“Rose, I’m—I’m sure Ben can protect me. I, um. I really don’t want to leave without him—“

“Your grandfather will have you killed when he finds you, Rey. Or worse. You’re the only person with any familial ties to his throne; a _threat_. He murdered his own son for less.” 

Kylo’s suspicions have proven to be correct.

Rey is fully aware of her lineage. He does not know how she came across this information; it’s entirely possible that the Resistance formed a relationship with her a long time ago. 

There is no way he can let this go. Someone has to die for this, and Rey needs to be taken back to the capitol immediately. Only he can’t quite fathom going through with the last bit.

In any case, Rose is incorrect. The Empire does not wish to harm Rey. 

Rose shifts her glare to Kylo. “Who knows, he could be the fucking spy droid. Just waiting on his chance.” 

Kylo rarely curses in his psyche. This one comes in loud and clear. _Oh, fuck._

“That’s...that’s ridiculous!” Rey is wide awake now. “Rose, holy shit! Do you have any idea what you’re accusing him of?!” 

“This situation is more dangerous than you seem to grasp, Rey. I love you, but you really need to get your head out of your—“ 

Kylo cuts her off before he can stop himself. 

“I would never hurt Rey.” His voice wavers. Has his voice ever wavered before? 

“I know, baby.” Rey frowns. “Rose is just being paranoid.” 

“Actually I’m just being _rational._ General Organa sent me to get you, Rey. This isn’t my decision.” 

General Organa. 

The name makes Kylo cringe. 

He has already killed her smuggler husband, Han Solo. He will gladly kill her, too. 

Rose works with Rey. He remembers now—bachelorette party. She is married. 

“Are you hiding?” Rey asks with a frown. “If you’re not, I’m not. I don’t want to be alone—“

“He’s, um. He’s coming. He’s going to join us, but I have to get you to safety first.” Rey looks confused, so Rose offers more information. “He’s traveling here on business in a week. He’s going to scramble the android, then join us underground.” 

“Your husband?” 

“Yes.” Rose nods. “He’s...he’s finally coming home, Rey. We haven’t quite worked out all the details yet, but he managed to send General Organa a few leads. We don’t know how old they are—recon could be anywhere from a month to a few days old. They were still in the selection process when he sent it.” 

“Fuck.” Rey pinches the bridge of her nose. “I hope Hux has it right this time. For all our sakes.” 

_This time?_

Kylo’s fists clench. He’s overwhelmed and overjoyed, angry and relieved. His chances of survival are at least at 86% now, if not higher. He has the advantage. Hux’s secret wife has handed it to him in a silver fucking platter. 

Kylo grins, smug. There’s a plan forming, piecing together faster and more malevolently than he could have ever expected. He finally has an excuse to murder Armitage Hux. Then he’ll bring Hux to the attention of the Empire as a traitor of the highest degree, and hopefully manage to fake his own death in the process.

And then he’ll be free to protect Rey, the way he was designed to. _Truly_ protect her. From everyone.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hi! 
> 
> i've been gone for four months, but i'm back now. best i can say is covid issues + nervous breakdown. 
> 
> this is my favorite story, but also my least popular, so i decided to work out my writing kinks with this chapter. it's a bit filler, but certain aspects of it are absolutely necessary for the plot to progress. 
> 
> i love you guys. i missed you.

There’s a time for planning and there’s a time for doing. This is unquestionably a time for doing. 

Kylo can’t help but feel extreme discomfort at this fact. He knows there must be a number of protocols to follow when escorting your mark underground, especially when it’s both against the will of and with the enemies of the greatest governing body on Earth. For the sake of his own cover with Rey, he should at the very least begin reciting some concerns about getting to work on time the next day. 

But when he watches those sweet hazel eyes fill with wet, heavy tears, there’s not much he can do beyond shuffling awkwardly. There’s nothing relevant to his situation on the neural net—he’s tried—and obviously no Empire process flowchart to skim, either. He’s alone with his own free will. He has been for days now, when he thinks about it. He’s malfunctioning, he’s spiraling, and he doesn’t believe he’s programmed to care anymore. 

He instinctively catches the empty suitcase Rey launches in his direction. He’s not sure how long he’s been zoned out. It’s been long enough that Rose and Rey have dropped armfuls of clothes and other feminine items in the floor and are rummaging through them with an efficiency he’s only seen in human females, and fellow droids of any identity. He zeroes in on Rey’s breathing. It’s heavier now, like it was when they kissed, but with an edge of misery that she lacked before. There’s still a slight sniffle when she inhales through her nasal cavity, but she isn’t actively crying anymore. 

“Are you really coming with us?” 

Kylo blinks twice to process this question. It’s not Rey’s voice, it’s Rose’s. _Rose._ Hux’s little wife. There’s an overwhelming urge to kill the man all over again, like all the points in his brain relating to violence have lit up at once. 

He’d chuckle if he wasn’t so deeply concerned with Rey’s emotions. They’re all over the place; the steady beating of her heart he’d memorized earlier no longer seems applicable. Will she ever rest so easily again? 

“Yes.” 

He’s confused about why he’s said this without calculations, concerns. The word simply tumbles out of his mouth, perhaps a response to Rose’s prodding, or in response to his own internal monologue. In any case, the answer remains the same. 

No, Kylo isn’t letting Rey out of his sight again. 

“D-do…” Rey finally clears her throat. There must have been a thirty minute accumulation of post-nasal drip; he’s surprised she didn’t choke on it, knowing human biology. “Do you need to pack anything, Ben?” 

These words come out of her confidently enough. This calms him. 

“Not at the moment.” He shakes his head and adjusts his grip on the suitcase. “I will handle my own affairs once we get you to safety.” 

Rose glares at him over her shoulder. It’s abundantly clear that she doesn’t trust Kylo, and she shouldn’t. Rey’s naive but lucky to have Kylo to protect her. He cannot fault naivety that works in his favor. _Precious creature._

It takes another thirty minutes of packing before Rey feels ready. Someone brandishes a briefcase with what Kylo presumes to be important documents inside—classic ops, he supposes—and Rey makes a point of tearing down her tornado collage before they leave. Like she’s horrified anyone but Rose or Kylo might see it. 

He’s certainly in her inner circle. He fights the human urge to grin. 

Palpatine would be proud. Kylo will be glad to kill him, too. He’ll gleefully murder anyone that gets in the way of protecting Rey. 

They’re in Rose’s car. The short creature continues to glare at him through the rearview mirror, asking every so often if Kylo is _positive_ that he’d not like to be dropped off and have his memory of the event wiped. He can sense Rey’s apprehensiveness from the backseat. He can tell that Rey doesn’t want him to forget what transpired before Rose’s untimely interruption. It’s too precious to the both of them. 

He’ll kill to protect this memory, too. 

Rose eventually instructs them that the drive will take another hour. Rey’s half asleep, nestled into a ball in the front-seat with her head resting against the window. She murmurs a soft _mmm_ in response, then drifts deeper into sleep, like the confirmation of a longer journey is all she needs to give in to her body’s desire to relax. This also feels like Kylo’s cue to attempt to classify and internalize the slew of information he’s become privy to over the last three hours. 

Kylo begins with the boring bits. Hux is a traitor, shocker. He’s always been one to bungle whatever he touches. He classifies this information as ‘Typical’—it’s at least a snide way to get back at Hux, should the homicidal redhead ever actually get his hands on Kylo’s systems again. 

Kylo decides he is funny, much like the protagonists in his new favorite film, _Night at the Roxbury._ Also a bit spiteful. Two fine personality traits for members of his age and gender cohort. 

His experience with Rey is much harder to classify. He knows she’ll never know the difference, but he would rather lose an eye than do anything to disrespect her. In the end, he decides to rename his entire folder of events related to Rey. He’s the only one who deserves to know the name of this strange woman; should anyone else ever see, they’ll know her simply as _Ideal._

It takes at least fifty minutes for him to replay the events of the night. Interacting with Rey’s friends, meeting a _humaroid_ couple, willfully ignoring her proximity to the Resistance. Going home with her. He decides that’s his. He feels something unusual when he dwells on kissing her, a build-up of pressure in an abdomen that’s supposedly just for aesthetics, an afterthought to make him more palatable to the humans that forged him. Perhaps the wires are just running hot. Then again, they’ve never done that before. 

He won’t risk looking it up, not when they’re so close to their destination. Not when he’s so close to single-handedly dismantling the Resistance. 

Palpatine _should_ owe him for that, no? 

There’s a soft, pleasant mewl from the front seat that shakes Kylo from his rueful reverie. He needs to be holding her again. He wonders if he’ll get to tonight, if she’ll even want him to after this upset. It will be a bit before he can get her alone, paint a mental image of her perspective. There’s something in him that begs him to prove how safe she is with him, but he knows it’s best to avoid that urge for now. She will see when it’s time. She will never have to worry again when it’s time. 

Rose is yawning when she turns on her blinker, the only external sound Kylo’s registered since the journey began. They’re not at some secret base of operations at all, they’re at—a Holiday Inn? 

“You know Leia can’t resist a continental breakfast,” Rose quips as she parks, at least three rows away from the entrance. Rey throws her head back and giggles like this is the funniest thing she’s heard all night. 

Kylo feels a pang of _something_ at this. It’s the same way he felt when Poe put his hands on Rey—two days ago? three?—and it makes him huff when he realizes he has no name for the emotion. It’s horrible, in any case. He wants to break the car window, or think of something even funnier for Rey again, nothing in-between would be satisfactory. Maybe when everything’s all said and done, when Rey _knows_ the depths of his desire to protect her, he can divulge the gag he’s set up for Hux. That would certainly elicit a chuckle. 

He takes in a deep breath as he disembarks from the backseat of Rose’s compact car, not sure why the action relieves him. It’s welcome regardless. He’s acutely thankful for the fact that he isn’t human. He’d really have to stretch his legs otherwise. 

Rose threatens Kylo’s very existence if he speaks while they check-in. Most hotels are fine with non-human occupants—they never make much of a mess, and the room doesn’t have to be cleaned afterwards. Some guests take issue, though. 

Rose is under the impression that he’s a know-it-all, that he might try to talk over her or negotiate something relating to the check-in; he can tell. He can’t help that all public information is one thought away. Maybe she should try memorizing an Encyclopedia or two, have her own knowledge to draw on. 

The process goes smoothly. Kylo doesn’t speak at all, simply relishes the feeling of Rey’s head against his shoulder. This makes his wires feel warm again. It could be dangerous, but it’s also pleasant enough to ignore for a bit. Unless he combusts… but that explosion should be largely contained inside of his military-grade steel casing. 

She continues to lean on him as they walk to their unit. Rose wasn’t expecting company—there’s only a reservation for one room, but they’re fortunate that it has two beds. Perhaps he and Rey can still finish the night out together. It’s only six am, they’ve got at least four hours before Leia’s arrival. Rose wouldn’t want to share a bed with Rey, would she? Would Rey prefer that? Or would Rey want to sleep on her own, leaving Rose the other bed and Kylo in sleep mode in the armchair? 

“I’m going to take a shower,” Rose announces, quite pointedly tossing her luggage onto one of the beds. He somehow recognizes this behavior as primal. Humans do this. Hell, certain species of tropical birds do this too. Bowerbirds will decorate their nests with beautiful feathers and sticks and flowers to attract a mate. 

Kylo shakes his head. That information is irrelevant, he isn’t even sure where it came from—Rose is simply marking her territory, not making it beautiful. 

Rey wastes no time shimmying out of her shorts and slipping under the adjacent bed. Kylo simply stands in place, gawking. He’s never seen a woman in a state of undress. Has he ever seen anyone so vulnerable? He scans his memory. If he has, it’s been thoroughly wiped. 

“Are you going to just stand there?” Rey’s face is pressed so firmly into the fluffy hotel pillow that he hardly makes out her grumpy chiding. Her legs shift a bit under the blanket…she’s rubbing them together, like a cicada. She’s either comfortable or apprehensive. He isn’t sure if he will ever know the difference. She lifts her head up a bit, and he’s positive he sees a tiny trail of drool disconnect from the pillow to her lips. Her voice takes on a tone of warning. “Come on, Ben.” 

He nearly trips over himself to get into the bed. The wires inside him are warm again, but the feeling seems more sustainable this time, less like impending doom. It’s clear Rey’s intention is just to sleep, not that he’d know how to escalate things further than a peck on the lips. Not that he’s ever even considered something of the sort. And not that he’d ever feel comfortable, but humans…humans copulate. 

Can he copulate? 

He pulls back the comforter to slip in beside her, but she groans so deeply it gives him pause. 

“Take your shoes off, Ben.” 

“Huh?” He looks down. Surely enough, they’re still on. “Oh.” 

Kylo is able to nestle in beside her quickly enough after kicking them off. He doesn’t lose what’s left of his highly programmed mind in the meantime, at least. She maneuvers them both into a position she tiredly explains as spooning. It’s consoling to hold her this close, validating, like kidnapping Rey once he destroys those might cause her harm is truly the only way to protect her. 

“Ben?” She asks. The sound of her voice almost jars him. Her breathing before seemed to indicate she was in the early stages of sleep. “You still up?” 

“Mmm,” he huffs an affirming breath into the back of her neck, which makes her jerk in his arms. He decides he is amused by how reflexive humans are, especially this one. “I do not sleep, Rey.” 

“I forget,” she chuckles a bit, almost too low to register. “I just—I’ve never truly felt safe before today. I’ve—never felt seen before I saw you. I felt like you were _hunting_ me, the connection felt so electric.” 

Kylo believes he’s short-circuited at this. The jolting in his synthetic body is almost too much, and he finds himself rubbing his legs together to sate it. He still can’t tell if the action is out of comfort or apprehension, despite being the one to perform it. 

“I will always keep you safe, Rey.” 

“I know,” she murmurs softly. “And I’m the one hunting you, anyway.” 

They sit in a comfortable silence for a few moments before her breathing becomes shallow again. 

She’s asleep. He doesn’t want to miss a single breath.


End file.
